what God?

what are you doing? what do you want. lately, between an empty bible study and a plagueing feeling that i am wasting away (which i know is just a lie sent by the deciever)i want to know what He wants from me. where do i go? when there are so many options around me and i know which one to take. yet, if i knew what He wanted or had no options to choose from i would long for the ignorance i have now.

its funny how we just run around thinking we know what will make us happy when ultimately nothing will. the only thing i feel we can hope for is peace. which he can give abundantly and from that peace we find joy in Him and His spirit.

so, i sit here wondering what to do and where to go and yet i am still and silent waiting.

because i am tired of "good" ideas to make sure everyone knows the name of Jesus, but i dont want just "good" ideas and i dont want people to simply know His name but ultimately know Him. I WANT TO KNOW HIM.

i had a friend one time say this (and i feel like God said this through her) ,"what do you KNOW God wants you to do? do that and look at Him and if He wants you to change directions then you will know instead of leaping on a guess."

i know God wants me at the place i live in now.
i know God wants me at the jobs i have.
i know God wants me at the church i am at.
i know God wants me at Joshua Cup every Thursday.
-though i know He was okay with me missing yesterday-

so, i will keep plugging away at what i know and let Him worry about what i dont, and ask Him to give me the faith and courage to stay where i am silent and waiting.

back in black

well, today is my birthday, and i am 23. bible study has not been very active. for the last two weeks i have a complete no show. this is okay, God will do what He wants to do. i will continue to show up until God tells me to stop. tis week however i will be going to snellville, ga to go see my mother. i plan to try and get back to updating my blog. i apologize for the lack of such, but the computer moved out and took my roomate with it. i am now surrounded by people i can bum a couple of minutes of internet from, so hopefully i can reach my internet bible study. in fact a message board might be in our future, a totally online bible study, idont know. just remember...

be free in christ
God is bigger than any mistake you can make
and you dont have to please anybody

luv
djr

anouncements

next week
my very bestest friend Angel, who some of you onine know from publictrust.blogspot.com, will be joining bible study, so make sure you make it

nov 25
soem people who used to come to thursdaynightbiblestudy will be putting on a once o month bible study which is supposed ot be really in depth at Joshua Cup, i will let you know what time, when i do, and i will be making a special post about what went on and was discussed that night.

Discussion again

It was just Jason and myself. A small group again. Felt it best to just sit and talk. We talked about Adam and eve for the most part tonight.

-we talked about other people on possible other planets. Many times I have been presented with this question before and I have always believed this: all creation is made to give glory to God, so what does that? There aren't other planets with intelligent life, that means God picked our mud ball to give life too out of all the planets out there and he picked us, with all of our ecosystems and seasons and the tilt of the axis which are the little idiosicricies that give our planet the ability to support life, that gives me more reason to praise Him, though I could have been brought to life anywhere else, I am here, and praise God for it. The other side to this discussion is: there ARE other planets with intelligent life on them, I would say the same thing that Jodi Foster's dad said in the movie Contact, "a huge waste of space"

-we talked about the fall and its relation to salvation and God's plan of bringing man to that final 180 where we are with Him again. It was while I was reading Romans, like, really for the first time when I read it and got it, that God was showing me some things about the garden and such that God is trying to get us back to that innocence with salvation. He showed me a piece of the relationship that Adam had with God. What did Adam know outside of what God had told Him before he ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Adam relied on God for everything He did. And when he ate of the tree, he then began to start wanting to think for himself, there for making a distance between himself and God.

-Jason said something that was pretty cool, that I hadn't thought of before, and that is that the idea of having knowledge is that we WILL make the right decisions. Which isn't true. That if we tell kids about AIDS or condoms that they will use this knowledge to make the right choices. This isn't true, especially in a society that screams in unison through art, poetry, and music to be lead with your heart and feelings. The idea that if we have the knowledge of good and evil we will then make the best decisions with this knowledge. But the problems you run into is that we don't and wont always make the best decisions, which is why God knew and wanted us to be lead only by Him.